Alia's

HAHAHA Hello. Oh gosh. It has been ages since my last post. Well i always rant on my twitter and completely forgot about my blog. And again who blog this days? We have twitter, instagram and tumblr and what so ever. OH OH OH back to what this post is about. HEHEHE. I graduaaaaaated. Wohooo. Finally. The four suffering years of life ended. It was a big big relieved. Keputusannya usah ditanya. yang penting lepas. harharhar.Alhamdulillah. Konvokesyen tahun depan dan insyaAllah suami yang akan menemani. hoho. Gedik nak mampus. Oh well. Orang tengah bahagia. Macam ni lah kan gayanya. Hihihi Oh how i miss blogging. I should do this more often. Hope so.

That moment when nothing feels right. *flip tudung* i like you but i'm scared as hell. excited for cambodia but stressed as F. plus my precious gundams hurt so damn bad with tiny missing parts and i'm pissed off. *i cried last night like a mother who lost her kids* okay, bangang tak main emosi macam ni. orang dah cakap, diri tu control la sikit. main redah je haa. sekarang bertubi-tubi pekara ganggu emosi datang. dah takleh nak kawal dah. fine. kalau macam ni permainan dia. kita redha. kita terima. karma kata orang. what you give you get back man. yang benar, manusia tak stabil.

My last post made me think how selfish I am worrying about useless thing ( my never ever going to happen love story) while my Muslims brothers and sisters are fighting for their life in Palestine, Gaza, Syria and all over the world. Today, back from terawikh I have the leisure of watching movie with my family and lazying on the couch while enjoying keropok lekor. While the others are begging for their life, been fasting not just because of Ramadhan but because they don't have food, been running around hiding from the rockets, missiles and guns and the worst part is THEY ARE JUST CHILDREN. KIDS. Age of 7,8 and 9 and even babies. Kids are losing their parents, man and woman loses their children. Their houses are destroyed. Streets filled with violent Zionists. They have nowhere to hide. It's a torture to watch all those pictures that people kept sharing on twitter and facebook. Those babies have done nothing wrong. They deserve better life. It's painful to watch and trus...

Nak nangis boleh? Kenapa asyik kecewa macam ni? Dah tahu bakal sakit, masih tegar mencari. Dah tahu akan pedih, gatal pergi tengok. Dah tahu hati akan sayu, kenapa pergi taruhkan harapan tinggi..? Dah tahu kan alia? Kenapa diri ini tak pernah sedar? Kenapa diri ini masih lalai? Kenapa perlu pisang berbuah berkali-kali dan kali? Kenapa alia? Kenapa hati ini lembut menyayangi? Kenapa hati ini begitu mudah tersentuh? Kenapa hati ini masih jatuh cinta? Dan kenapa kepada yang takkan pernah sudi? Tidakkah pengalaman lalu mengajar? Tidakkah kesakitan lalu masih membelengu diri? Tidakkah mahu bahagia dan bukan derita? Kenapa alia ? Kenapa? Bertepuk sebelah tangan bukanlah hakikat yang mudah untuk diterima .... Bangun lah . Bangun lah dari mimpi dan angan kosong ini. Bangun lah . Bangun lah dari kesakitan lalu. Sedar diri tu. Siapa lah kita. Siapa lah kita ni alia.....

I feel bad for you. I really do.  What's up with the insecurities man ?  What? Don't you trust him?  You know your history yet you tend to repeat it. Is it her faults or your own? Why would you want him to hate her?  She's his friend. We are studiomates.  It's hard not to bump onto each other man. You're freaking lucky she's nice.  Gotta write this somehow somewhere.  Get over it.  Grow up. 

Heyyyy. Due to today's event and i don't know probably some random tweets on twitter, i think i should get back to my loneliness life of blogging. Well yeah, it's super dusty cause no one ever ever reads it, barely post anything and cause i'm not an interesting person. Take note. Nothing interesting here. You may move on with your life. Today, 3rd of june marks my almost 4 months of internship! Wehoo. Wohoo! Yes it's fun! Much much mucho better than studio life. And yes i think it's because the fact that i'm working at my ayah's firm <-- super spoilt brat :3 But seriously, it's fun.  Oh and here i attached my favourite moment photo of climbing-the-roof-during-site-visit-in-the-rain :)

What am i doing? Being so freaking emotional over unnecessary things. I don't get myself. Contain yourself sister. You're messing with your own head. You did this to yourself. Retard. Stop this nonsense right at this second. Stop